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İstanbul’daki pikniğe gittiğimizde köylülerimizin köy hasretlerini giderecek bir şeyler aradıklarının farkına vardık. Gözleri ne kebapta ne de diğer şeylerdeydi. Kurulmuş bir çatma ve yayık, bir de ekmek tahtası ile sacındaydı. Dönüp dolaştığımız yer ya onun başı ya da yakınıydı. Yapılan yufka ekmeklerini kuzu eti lezzetinde ve bir honcu iştahıyla yedik. Biraz ilerleyince çocukluk ya da gençlik arkadaşlarını bulmuş anılarını birbirlerine, unuttukları yerleri en ince ayrıntılarına kadar hatırlatarak tekrardan paylaşan, hasret gideren insanlar bulduk karşımızda. Belli ki mutluluğun en güzelini yaşıyorlardı, paylaşıyorlardı.

Ben de belleklerimden silinmemiş aksine derin bir çizgiyle yer etmiş o yoğun duygularımdan birini sizlerle paylaşmak istedim. Köyde kaldığım süre içerisinde en sıkıntılı anlarımı ve anılarımı orada yaşadığımı zannederdim. Şimdi ise belleğimde kalan sıkıntı zannederek yaşadığım şeyleri arasam da bulamıyorum. Aynen Hakan’ın bir zaman biçer döver, traktör yaptığı oyuncak taşları şimdi arayıp ta bulamadığı gibi. Işıkları önce loş lamba ve gaz kokan odalarda aradık. Sonra yemeğin ateşinin verdiği yarı aydınlanıp yarı sönen ocak başlarında. Bulgur tereyağının kokularını taa uzaklardan alarak koştuk sofra başlarına.

Baharda bahçelere bir heyecanla hiç dönmeyecekmiş gibi taşınır, zamanla değişiklik olsun diye köye gelir özlemimizi giderir bir hüzünle ve sıkıntıyla bahçeye dönerdik. Bu sıkıntı zannettiğimiz zamanlar ise duygularımızın doruk noktalarıymış meğer.

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  • 28.07.2014 08:08
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