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Bizim oralarda.. Ziyaret, yoksulluktur.. Çaresizliğin sığınağıdır.. Doktorudur hastaların.. Umududur .. Çaresidir dertlilerin.. Acıların, yakarışların ruh verdiği, can verdiği umuttur onlar.. Kimi zaman bir kaya parçası, kimi zaman asırlık bir dut ağacı, kimi zaman bir mezar kalıntısıdır ziyaretler..

İşte bu ziyaretler rivayet olunur ki, yürümeyeni yürütür, söylemeyeni söyletir.. Cansız bedenlere can verir, kısır kadınların rahmine çifte çifte çocuk düşürür.. Sevda düşürür sevmeyenin yüreğine..

İşte bu yazımız bizim oralarda yaşanmış ziyaret olayları üzerinedir..



Doğduğunda el kadar bir şeydi. Çelimsiz, sıska.. Gün geçer, ay geçer bu sıska çocuk gelişmez.. Bir şey yemez, zorla ağzına verilen şeyleri de çıkarır.. Ana yüreği parçalanır, çocuğuna bir şey olacak diye.. Daha dünya yüzünü görmeden gidecek diye.. Çareler arar. Öyle ki kim ne derse, kim bir şey önerse hemen atılır.. Bir gün köylerine gelen akraba kadınlardan biri kendisine bir ziyaretten söz eder..

Kileyk’te ki bir ziyaret. Adı Pir Ceviz.. Ocağ, ziyaret.. Öyle bildiğiniz ceviz ağaçlarından değil.. Kökleri yedi kat yerin altında.. Dalları dayanmış göğün tavanına.. Öyle ki koca gövdesini on kişi saramaz.. işte hasta çocuğu götürüp bu pir cevizin dibine bırakıyorsun. Eğer çocuk ağlarsa, korkmana gerek yok, çocuk yaşayacak demektir. Yok eğer, çocuk ağlamazsa bil ki o çocuk kurtulmaz.. Çaresi yok derdinin..

Böyle anlatır akraba kadın. Ananın yüreğine bir kurt düşmüştür artık. Bir türlü gelişmeyen, iyileşmeyen çocuğunun geleceğini merak eder, bilmek ister.. Kocasına açamaz konuyu.. Her sırrını paylaştığı komşu kadınla konuşur. Gitmek istediğini söyler Pir Cevize.. Komşu kadın vazgeçirmek ister ama nafile.. Ananın kararlılığını görünce, “ bari ben de seninle geleyim, bir kırık çocukla yollarda yalnız olmaz “ der..  Komşu kadın yalnız yaşar, hiç evlenmemiştir.. Güzel değildir, ama altın gibi bir yüreği vardır. Herkeslere yardım eder.. Yufka pişiriyorsan ahtaracı alır ve sacın üzerinde çevirir.. Yayık sallıyorsan, karşına geçip birlikte sallar.. Tarlada yardım eder, evde yardım eder.. Herkesin derdiyle dertlenir, herkesin sevinciyle mutlanır.. Köyde ki herkesin bir yakını, akrabası gibidir..

Bir gün kocası, kayınları, onların eşleri tarlaya giderler. Kendisi hasta çocuğu için evde kalmıştır. İşte bu komşu topal kadınla birlikte, çocuğu alırlar, eşeğin sırtında yola koyulurlar.. Yol uzun.. hava sıcak mı sıcak.. Saatlerce giderler.. Adı geçen köye varırlar.. Köyün girişinde köpük Pestili yapılmaktadır.. Bizimkiler aç, susuz.. Beklerler belki bir parça ikram ederler diye.. Ama kimse ilgilenmez bile..

Sora sora Pir cevizi bulurlar. Cevizi görünce ikisi de hayal kırıklığına uğrar. Pir ceviz hiçte öyle anlatıldığı gibi büyük bir ağaç değildir.. Topal komşu kadın kendini tutamaz ve ;

-        Kız, bu koca pir ceviz dedikleri meğerse senin oğlan gibi sıska birşemiş, der.

Ana kızar ona, alay etmemesini söyler..

Ana çocuğu kucağına alır. Bakar yüzüne. Nefes alıp veriyor mu belirsiz. Rengi solgun. Eşekle yapılan bu uzun yolculuk onu daha da yormuştur.

Çocuğu cevizin dibine indirecek; çocuk ağlarsa.. Akraba kadın öyle anlatmıştı.. Ya ağlamazsa.. Yüreği yerinden çıkacakmış gibi çarpar.. Aklına bir fikir gelir; çocuğu indirmeden canını acıtacak, böylece ağlamasını sağlayacaktır. Öyle de yapar, çocuğun minnacık burnunu sıkar.. Çocuk minicik gözlerini aralar, dudaklarını buruşturur, suratını ekşitir, ağlayacakmış gibi yapar. Tam o sıra da çocuğu cevizin dibine, üstelik te sertçe atar.. Yeter ki ağlasın.. Ve heyecanla, korkuyla arkasını döner, kulaklarını kapatır. Topal komşu kadına seslenir;

-        Kız Allah’ını seversen sen bak, ağlayacak mı?

Biraz sonra kadın seslenir;

-        Ağladı, ağladı senin sıpa.. Haydi gözün aydın.. Allah analı, babalı büyütsün.

Ana coşkuyla oğluna koşar. Alır kucağına, öper, koklar.. Çocuk cevizin dibinde ağlamıştır.. Komşu kadın öyle söylemiştir.. Çocuk yaşayacaktır..

Tekrar binerler eşeğin sırtına.. Köyün çıkışında bir evden ekmek ve soğan rica eder, karınlarını doyururlar. Sonra da gerisin geri yola koyulurlar..

Evet çocuk yaşar..

Hasta çocuğunu Pir Ceviz’e götüren Emoğun Ehmedin hanımı Zöhre haladır.

Yardımsever komşusu da, son nefesine kadar yanında olduğu Gülbahar haladır.

Çocuk mu, çocuk ta sevgili dostum Celal Güven’dir..

Yıllar geçer bu olaydan sonra.. Celal büyür, gelişir, delikanlı olur.. Gülbahar hala bir gün Zöhre halaya ;

-        Kız Zöhre sana bir şey diyeceğim, ama bana sövmeyeceğine söz ver, der.

Sonra da o sırrı söyler;

-        Hani bebekken Celal’ı Pir Ceviz’e götürmüştük. Hani ben sana Celal ağladı demiştim. Ben o zaman sana yalan söyledim. Celal ağlamamıştı.


Ancak, Gülbahar hala Zöhre halanın küfründen kurtulamaz.



Köyde ki bir kızamık salgınında ölen abisinin adını vermişlerdi ona. O adı verirken de “ inşallah kaderi benzemez “ demişlerdi. Evet, kaderi benzememiş hayatta kalmıştı ama üç yaşını doldurmuş olmasına rağmen hala yürüyemiyordu. Anne ve babası ondan da ümidi kesmiş olmalılar ki ara vermeden, bir çocuk daha yapmışlardı. Kardeşiyle yaş farkı yalnızca birdi. Kardeşi yaşını doldurmadan yürümüş, ama o üç yaşını aşmış olmasına rağmen, bülbül gibi şakımasına, her şeyi anlamasına rağmen hala yürüyemiyor, sürünüyordu.

Ana ve babası çocuklarının bu haline üzülür, kahrolurlar. Köydeki ziyaretlere götürür anası. Nice koca - karı reçetelerini uygular, ama çocuk yürümez. Akşam işten yorgun argın geldiklerinde çocuklarına yürüme egzersizleri yaptırırlar. Biri bir kolundan tutar, diğeri öteki kolundan.. Ama nafile, çocuk bu halde bile adım atamaz, bıraktıklarında ise yere yığılır..

Bir gün köylülerden biri anaya, “ anam, senin oğlanın dizinde galiba yel var. Çaresi de Narmikan köyünde. O köyde Ağca Bey’in Ocağı varmış. Oğlanı oraya bir götürün “ der..

Ananın içinde bir ümit ışığı yanar. Aynı durumda bir kız çocuğu olan komşu kadına bundan söz eder. Kadınlar kafa kafaya verip, yürüyemeyen bu iki çocuğu Narmikan’da ki Ağca Beyin Ocağı’na götürmeye karar verirler. Atarlar çocukları eşeklerin sırtına yola koyulurlar..

Narmikan köyünden akşama doğru dönerler. Aman, o da ne.. İnanılır gibi değildir. Köyden  sürünerek giden çocuk, Narmikan’da ki ziyaretten yürüyerek dönmüştür. Evet, bu bir mucizedir.. Evde tam bir bayram havası vardır. Anası, babası ve ebesi sevinçten, mutluluktan uçacak gibidirler.. Hele anası, ebesinin deyimiyle “  kabarmış horoz gibi ortalıkta dolaşmaktadır. “

Olay köyde duyulur. Ve bu ziyaret bundan böyle dizinde, kolunda, belinde, velhasıl vücudunun her hangi bir uzvunda yel olduğu düşünülen herkese umut olur.

Herkes çocuğu bu ziyaretin yürüttüğüne inanır ve öyle anlatır.

Onlar böyle inanır da bakalım ancak üç yaşında yürüyebilen, bugünlerde kırklı yaşlarında olan kahramanımız ne düşünür. Olayı bir de ondan dinleyelim;

“   Hayal meyal hatırlıyorum. ( ya da dinlediklerimden canlandırıyorum ) Evet yürüme çağım çoktan geçmiş olmasına rağmen, ben hala yürüyemiyordum. Benden çok çok sonra doğan çocuklar bile yürüyor, koşuyor ama ben dört ayaklı gibi sürünüyorum. Evde bu durumumdan dolayı tartışmalar olur, kavga edildiği olurdu. Kimi zaman acıyarak bakılır, kimi zamanda bu durumun sebebi benmişim gibi kızarak, öfkeyle bakılırdı.

Bir gün anam, beni iyileştirecek bir ziyarete gideceğimizi söyledi. Ertesi gün, anam, ben ve komşu kızıyla anası eşeklerin sırtında köyden çıktık. Yol uzun, güneş tepemizde. Derken önümüze büyük bir dere çıktı. Adına çay diyorlar. Gürül gürül su akıyor. Anam ve komşu kadın karşıya geçebilmek için suyun derin olmayan bir yerini aradılar. Sonra eşeklerle suyu geçmeye çalıştık. Ben bir ara suya baktım. Ve başladım ağlamaya; “ su bizi götürüyor “ diye bar bar bağırıyorum. Anam “ Sana öyle geliyor, gözlerin akmıştır. Kapa gözlerini  “ dedi. Bende öyle yaptım.

Uzun bir yolculuğun sonunda adı geçen köye geldik. Sora sora yel ocağını bulduk. Bir kadın kapıyı açtı, bizi içeri aldı. Anam ve komşu kadın bizleri göstererek derdimizin ne olduğunu anlattılar. Kadın bize gülümseyerek baktı,  “ Evvel Allah, buradan yürüyerek gidecekler “ dedi. Yuvarlak ve kaygan bir taşı benim dizlerimde, sırtımda gezdirdi. Adına “ cöher “ dediği toprağı yememi istedi. Ağzıma aldığım toprağı eveleyip, geveleyip yuttum. Sonra, kadın beni kucağına aldı.    “ Allah’ım ya yürüt, ya da canını al !.. “ deyip, bir delikten içeri attı. Karanlık.. Kimseler yok.. Korkumdan tir tir titriyorum. Başladım ağlamaya, avazım çıktığınca bağırıyorum. Anam belli ki beni merak ediyor, ama ziyarete bakan kadın  “ korkma bir şey olmaz, şimdi susar “ diyor. Evet, ben yürüyemediğim için bacak kaslarım gelişmemiş olabilir ancak, bu açığımı kapatmak için bolca konuştuğumdan belli ki gırtlağım, ses tellerim acayip gelişmiş. Bağırıyorum da bağırıyorum. Herhalde dayanamadılar çıkardılar. Beni bu karanlığa attığı için kadına düşmanca baktım, yürüyebilsem kaçıp gideceğim.

Benim durumumda olan komşu kıza da aynı tarifeyi uyguladılar. O da bir güzel ağladı. Sonra tekrar eşeğin sırtı ve bizim köyün yolu.. Yine geldik o çok su akan dereye, çaya.. Sudan geçerken gene gözlerim aktı, suya düşeceğim de su beni götürecek gibi oldum. Hemen kapadım gözlerimi.

Anam beni karşıya, çayın kenarına bıraktı ve komşu kızını almak için geri döndü.

 Arkama baktım, gürültüyle akan dere.. Su beni alıp götürebilir.. Sonra o ziyaret denilen kara delik.. O delikten içeriye atılışım.. Karanlık.. Avazım çıktığınca bağırışım, ağlayışım.. Korkularım.. Benden çok çok sonra olan çocuklar bile yürürken benim hala sürüngenler gibi sürünüyor olmam.. Kimi zaman hor görülmem, kimi zaman bana acınarak bakılması.. vs. vs.

Herhalde tüm bunların itici gücüyle kalktım ayağa.. Bir iki adım attım. Sonra da başladım kaçarcasına koşmaya..

Anamın çığlığıyla, ürpererek olduğum yerde durdum. Arkamı döndüm, anam suyun içinde.. Düşe kalka bana doğru gelmeye çalışıyor.. Bir yandan da;

-        Aman Allah’ım, şükür Allah’ım yürüdü, oğlum yürüdü.. diye bağırıyor.

Yanıma geldi, sırılsıklam olmuştu. İleri atılıp beni kucağına aldı, göğsüne bastırdı.. Sevinçten ağlıyordu. Sonra yere indirdi;

-        Hadi oğlum, bir daha yürü bakalım, diyor, belli ki gördüklerine inanamıyor, beni test ediyordu. Ben biraz uzaklaşıyor, tekrar kendisine doğru koşuyordum.

Evet, artık yürüyebiliyor, koşabiliyordum..

O gün bugündür çok yürürüm, çok koşarım.. Hiç aracım olmadı, hiç direksiyon sallamadım, hevesim de olmadı. Bir yerden bir yere mümkünse yürüyerek giderim. Bu durumumu elbet te psikologlar açıklayabilir.

Ama bana göre, ben yürüyemediğim o koca üç yaşımın eksiğini kapatmaya çalışıyorum. “

( Sevgili dostlar, hikâyemizde adı geçen ve ancak üç yaşını bitirince yürüyebilen çocuk, bu satırların yazarı Hasan Aksoy’dan başkası değildir. )

Hasan Aksoy


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# Hüseyin KARASLAN 02-09-2013 06:26
:-) Hasan Abi,
Kalemine yüreğine sağlık!! Keyifle okudum...
# hasan dinçer 02-09-2013 08:18
Hasan Abi,
Çok güzel anlatmışsın yüreğine sağlık.

# Hüseyin Aksoy 15-09-2013 11:52


Hasan Aksoy
Süleyman Kılıç
İsmet Avşar
Hüseyin Dinçer
Kevser Aydın
Mehmet Karaaslan
Hueseyin Aksoy
Hakan Dinçer

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  • 28.07.2014 08:08
    Hasan Abi, egemegine saglik, cok güzel olmus :)

    Devamını oku...