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Gülmeye hasret olduğumuz bir dönemde iç karartıcı haberlerden sonra biraz da keyifli konular bulayım derken aradığımın burnumun dibinde ve bir televizyon kadar yakın olduğunu anladım. Bazen haber mi dinliyorum yoksa çok güzel komedi mi izliyorum belli değil. Benim kahkahamı duyanlar bu esprili programı izlemek için diğer odadan geldiklerinde beni bir haber izlerken buluyorlar ve kanalı değiştirdiğimi zannediyorlar. İşte bu eğlenceli konulardan ötürü son zamanlarda televizyon haberlerini ve yazılı basını daha sıklıkla izler oldum. Tirajı komik haberler gülsem mi üzülsem mi ölsem mi öldürsem mi …..
Bu haberler neler mi?… Bazılarını sizlerle de paylaşmaya çalışacağım.
Bir öğrenci başbakanın konvoyunu görünce ağzından gayriihtiyari olarak çıkan “oha” lafı yüzünden 7 saat tutuklu kaldı ve sorgulandı. Sorguda ne soruldu çok merak ediyorum. Kızcağız bu lafı ,karşısında bir anda gördüğü onlarca MERSEDES’e demediği ne malum? Mersedese oha denir mi? Dense dense deeeeh denir.
Kemal Kılıçdaroğlu bir konuşmasında ağzından aaaa sesi çıktı gerisi çıkmadı. Öteki partililer hemen gerisini tamamladılar. Bu olsa olsa “Aaaaananı da al git” olabilirdi. Kemal Kılıçdaroğlu’na tazminat davası açacaklarını söylediler. Sonra anlaşıldı ki Kemal Kılıçdaroğlu “Ayağını denk al “ diyecekmiş. Ama adamlar haklı aaaaa….
Taksim’de YGS’deki şifre iddialarını protesto eden 1000 kadar öğrenciye Başbakan Recep Tayyip Erdoğan'ın, “Onlar Ygs sınavının karşısında tavır ortaya koyduklarını açıklarken, biz de kalkarız onların karşısına 5 bin, 10 bin tane genci koyarız.” demiş. Bu söyleme içerlenen(!)Devlet Bahçeli Başbakan Erdoğan'a "10 bin milisinle Taksim'e gel, ben de bin Bozkurtumla oraya geleyim. İnanıyorum ki Kasımpaşa'ya kadar ardına bakmadan kaçacaksın" demiş. Değerli dostlar özellikle İstanbul’da yaşayanlar dikkat arada ezilmeyin.
Başbakan Kars’taki İnsanlık anıtına “Ucube” dedi. Kültür Bakanı Ertuğrul Günay “ucube “sözüyle o anıtı değil etrafındaki kaçak yapıların kastedildiğini söylediyse de işi kıvıramadı. Ucubenin O anıt olduğu anlaşıldı. Şimdi o anıt muhtelif yerlerinden delinerek kamyonlarla musait bir yere götürülüyor.
Haaa hah hah hah tamam. Sanki heykel aaaa…. Aaaa yanlış anlamayın “ayaklanacak” diyecektim.
Bu anıtın yıkılmasını protesto eden ve bir resim galerisinde konuşma yapan bir avuç aydın ve bunların içindeki Bedri Baykam bıçakla yaralanıyor. Etrafındaki insanlar Bedri Baykam’ın rol yaptığını zannediyor. Adamcağız yaralandığını ispat için pantolonunu indiriyor, özel araç sahipleri, oralı bile değil. En sonunda bir taksici insafa gelip sanatçıyı taksiye alıyor. Ucunda para olmasa o da nafile. Bu durum bana Sivas’ta Madımak Oteli’nde Aziz Nesin’in başına gelenleri çağrıştırdı. Bu kadar duyarsız mıyız?
Usame Bin Ladin Pakistan’da Öldürüldü. ABD cesedin hiçbir ülkenin sahiplenmeyeceğini düşünerek denize attığını açıkladı. Bu durumu ben anlamadım, yorumunu siz yapın…
Adana’da gazetelere iş ilanı vererek beş bin kişiyi dolandıran cezaevi firarisi yakalanıyor. Giderayak gazetecilere ''5 bin kişi dolandırdım. Memlekette bu kadar enayi varsa ben ne yapayım. Bunun suçlusu ben değilim'' dedi. Bu durum da bende Aziz nesinin bu ülkenin %60lık oranını hatırlattı.
Başbakan AP’de konuşuyor ve Fransız bir Parlamenterin Ahmet Şık ve azınlıklar ile ilgili bir sorusuna “ Siz Fransızsınız galiba. Bu konulara da Fransızsınız” dedi. Onlar bu lafı önce anlamadılar. Bir müddet sonra başbakanın ne demek istediğini anlayarak “Sizler de Fransa’ya Türk’sünüz” diyerek yanıt verdiler.
Fransızlar Türkiye’ye gerçekten Fransız mı ne dersiniz?
Son zamanlarda bir reklam var fotoğraf çekmek isterken ark arkaya gidip pencereden aşağı düşen biri var ya hah işte o reklam.(Halk Bank reklamı) Böyle şeylerin yalnızca film ve reklamlarda olacağını düşünmüştüm. Bir gün İzmit’te bir otelde gerçekleştirilen partide alkolü fazla kaçıran E.B. ve A.Ş. dans ederken dengelerini kaybederek, 3’üncü kat penceresinden aşağıda park halindeki otomobilin üzerine düştüğünü seyrettim. Olayın biraz daha ayrıntısını anlayayım diyerek internetten bu haberi buldum olay şöyle devam ediyordu.
Gece boyunca alkolün de etkisiyle neşeyle dans eden E.B. ile A.Ş. masa üzerine çıkıp dans etmeye başladı.
Bir ara masanın sallanmasıyla dengelerini kaybeden E.B. ve A.Ş. pencereye yaslandı. Dışarı doğru açılan pencerenin mandalının kurtulmasıyla bir anda kendilerini boşlukta bulan ikili 3’üncü kattan düştü.
Aşağıda park halindeki otomobilin üzerine düşen iki gençten E.B. motor kaputunun üzerinde kalırken, A.Ş. ise kaputa çarpıp beton zemine yuvarlandı. Reklama gülmüştüm ama böyle bir olaya gülmekle üzülmek arası değişik bir duygu yaşadım.
İstanbul’da Sarıyer-Taksim arası sefer yapan İETT otobüsünde akşam saatlerinde yaşanan ilginç bir o kadar da düşündürücü olayı mağduru şöyle anlatıyor: "Kız arkadaşım yurtta kalıyor ve onu yurda yetiştirmek için biz genellikle aynı otobüsü kullanıyoruz. Dün gece de otobüse bindik. Ben kız arkadaşıma sadece sarılmıştım. Kısa bir süre sonra şoför bize dönerek, 'İnin lan arabadan, burası şey yapma yeri değil' dedi. Ben ilk önce şoke oldum. Ardından, 'Ne yapma yeri değil, açık konuş' dedim. Şoför de bana, 'Seks yapma yeri değil' cevabını verdi.
Haa haaa haaaaa HASTİR bu kadar da olmaz, olamaz…
Ne oluyor bize kaçanlar kovalayanlar, dinlenenler, dinleyenler, dikizleyenler…